Important Points About Forgiveness

•  The most important power given to the human spirit is the power to heal the wounds of a past we cannot change.

• We do our forgiving alone, inside our hearts and minds; what happens to the people we forgive depends on them.

• The first person to benefit from forgiving is the one who does it.

• Forgiving happens in three stages:

  1. We rediscover the humanity of the person who wronged us.

  2. We surrender our right to get even.

  3. We wish the person well.

• We forgive people only for what they do, never for what they are.

• We forgive people only for wounding and wronging us: We do not forgive people for things we do not blame then for

• We cannot forgive a wrong unless we first blame the person who wronged us.

• Forgiving is a journey, the deeper the wound, the longer the journey.

• Forgiving does not require us to reunite with the person who broke our trust. 

• We do not forgive because we are supposed to; we forgive when we are ready to be healed.

• Waiting for someone to repent before we forgive, is to surrender our future to the person who wronged us.

• Forgiving is not a way to avoid pain, but a way to heal pain.

• Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does not mean that we give them back their job.  

• Forgivers are not doormats.  To forgive a person is not a signal that we are willing to put up with what they do.

• We do not excuse the person we forgive; we blame the person we forgive.  

• When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was us.