WHY
By Don Searles

When something bad happens, the first thing many people ask is WHY.  Why did this have to happen to me, or why did you do that to me?  How many times have you said, or heard someone say, “I just don’t understand why _____ happened.  In most cases, the why cannot be answered and if it could, it makes no difference. 

We never ask why when something good happens, like a promotion at work or winning the lottery, because we don’t care why.  We are just happy that it did.  We only ask why, when bad things happen. 

You are driving down the street, when suddenly from a side street a car runs a stop sign and slams into your car.  You jump out and scream at the other driver, “Why didn’t you stop at that stop sign?”  What you are really looking for is evidence to blame the person that hit you.  No matter what they say, it will not satisfy you and most likely it will start an argument.  No matter what they say will change the fact that your car is damaged and you will have to have it taken to a body shop and fixed. 

Focusing your mind on why, limits your ability to solve problems.  The question you should ask is WHAT.  What do I need to do to solve this problem and get on with my life?  In this case, the answer would be, call the police and then get a tow truck to get your car off the street and taken to a body shop, call your insurance company, get estimates and have your car fixed.

When big tragedies happen we ask, “God why did you let this happen?”  If God could come down and tell you why, would you be satisfied and say, “Thank you God, now I know.“  Absolutely not.  We only ask God why, to find something to blame God for.  Blaming has never solved any problem.  Blaming the driver that hit your car won’t fix it.  Blaming God won’t fix your problem.  Blaming your parents, spouse, children, boss, police, government or anyone will not change the past or solve any problems.   Blaming only controls your mind, causes arguments and leads to anger, resentment, unhappiness and prevents you from taking responsibly and solving the problem.

Life has many problems.  Everyone has them; they are part of the journey.  To solve life’s problems, ask the question WHAT?

WHAT must I do to solve this problem and prevent it from happening again?  You see, you are the only person that can solve your problems. Then do what you need to do to solve the problem and you will be a much happier person.  Forget about WHY and ask WHAT?

Corollary: If you can find enough people and things to blame, it is OK to be miserable.